Glassy Mind
by AnimeGirl2258
Summary: My mind is jumbled, messy, askew, I write in this journal because... I'm not sure... There's a boy here... Will he hurt me? Rei Suzuya x OC
1. Prologue

Rubix Cube Brain

There's a boy here, a boy here sitting right next to me. The teacher is talking, the teacher is lecturing rather, the boy doesn't hear, or is not listening would be the better way to say it. I catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye, or should I say I began to stare at him in such a way? I'm not sure.

He's destracted, or maybe he's not, he could easily be-no-intentionally be ignoring the teacher, or professor if you'd prefer. Is he a professor? No one calls him that, maybe-no- probably not. Ah! I got off track again didn't I? I'm writing in you, or rather this journal for anyone reading, because that lady who helps... What is she? She helps me, well she helps lots of kids here. A Psychiatrist, Councelor, a Doctor? I don't know I forget. Anyway the Helper-Lady, whatever she is, told me my thoughts are out there, or jummbled up rather, incoherent maybe? She says i'm really intelligent but she guesses-no-surmises that the tragedy I went through has caused my mind to ruin, expire, fall apart, decompose? Whatever, my minds in shambles and I can no longer keep a proper train of thought. Tragedy? She said I went through a tragedy, an ordeal, a series of unfortunate events, I don't remember, or rather I do not recall. What tragedy? Should I ask? No I don't want the Helper-Lady to think I'm stupid... Though I suspect thats the case already.

Ah! I got off track again! I was writing about the boy, the boy sitting right next to me. He's an odd one this guy, strange, weird, unstable. He came here last week, he sits next to me everyday-or at least I think he does. He doesn't speak to me, I don't speak to him. He seems... Whats the word? Unthreatening? Not a threat... Like he wont hurt me... Harmless! Yes thats the word! He seems rather harmless, docile, calm. But I don't know. Something about him gives me chills, the willies, goose-pimply-bumps! He's off! Odd! Strange!

I don't know his name, he introduced himself before... What was his name? It was a bland name, boring, dull, colorless, kind of like him! He's all white, his skin, hair, even his shirt! The only colored part of him are his eyes, which are red-no-carmine would be the right color to describe them. His name? Suzoyu? no... Suzayo? Sozuya? I can't remember! Should I ask? I catch another glimpse of him, he's still looking out the window detached from everything else. Nope. Too scary-frightening, rather.

Oh no! I just realized! I didn't start this journal the way the Doctor/Counselor/Psychiatrist/Helper-lady said to! I'm so tired of having my thoughts so jumbled up! I feel like a messed up thingy! A square puzzle thing! Not a square... A cube! Yeah! A Rubix cube! I feel like a jumbled up mess of colors and thoughts that don't know where they belong! I hate it! It makes me dizzy!

Darn it! I did it again! I keep getting off track! Well no better place to start off right then now.

My name is...

...My name is...

...

...

Sachi! My name is Sachi Yomoko! The Helper-Lady say's i'm fourteen but i'm not so sure, I feel more like ten, then again just a while ago I felt more like twenty, maybe- probably the lady's right.

I've been writing all throughout this class, oh? Should I have been listening? I wasn't... Oh well no one's said anything about it, maybe the information wasn't important. But it doesn't matter if it's important, unimportant, useless, worthless, senseless, undermined, unintelligent, unimportant... Wait what? Unimportant... But I already wrote that...

I'll pass the class even if I don't listen, I get all day to take tests, because my minds so messy-no-scattered. And I always pass! I guess I am smart!

I just felt a tap on my shoulder, I turn to the boy next to me he's looking at me-or has turned his attention to me rather. My pencil never leaves the page, not even when I look away from it, the Helper-Lady said to write everything down.

The boy isn't saying anything, just staring at me, he blinks once, twice, inhales, exhales, inhales, exhales, blinks once more, his lips move... no... they move up... what is that called? A smile! Yeah thats it! The kid smiles, looks to my journal and says.

"You're still writing in that thing? You never stop!"

I stare at him, making a face, my eybrows are... their together, not completely... Kneaded my eyebrows are kneaded together and i'm frowning too. Should I talk to him? What will happen if I do? Will he hurt me? Could he hurt me? He's harmless, docile, calm. But what if he attacks me anyway? Can I be wrong? What if- what if he takes a sharp thingy and- and- and- oh whats the word for it?

"Whats the matter with you?" He asks, I must be making a strange face. Whats that word? "Class ended a couple of minutes ago, ya know." Can't he stop talking long enough for me to- he laughs, "You look funny." What was I- "Why're you still here after everyone left?" That word what was- "you're a funny girl!"

"Too fast!" I cry, he jumps at my voice, my pencil never leaves the page. "Deaccelerate!"

"Huh?"

"Break peddle! Yellow light! Slow down! Can't think! WHATS THIS WORD?!"

Stupid boy, stupid, stupid, stupid boy, talking so fast! Talking too much! Too rushed! Whats the-

"What word?" He's more calm than the other people who talk to me, I can't talk-or hold a conversation rather- with anyone because my mind won't let me! IT'S TOO MESSY!

Most get scared or mad and leave when they talk to me.

This boy is strange, odd, silly, weird.

"Sharp thingy, goes into someones flesh!" I cry as I write.

"Huh?"

I make the motion I've forgotten the word for by taking my pencil away from the page and nearly putting it through the desk.

"Oh! You mean stabbing!"

"Stabbing! Ding ding! On the nose! Correct!" I cry, as he laughs I finish my earlier thought.

-What if he takes a sharp thingy and stabs me? Sharp thingy? Thats not right.

"You're funny!" He said that before, why say it again?

"Sharp thingy!"

"Come again?" He's grinning ear to ear.

"Sharp thingy for stabbing!"

"You mean a knife?"

"Knife? Incorrect! No! Wrong!"

"What is it then?"

I draw out the shape of what I mean on the desk surface.

"An axe?"

"Axe! Thats it! An axe!"

"But axes arent used for stabbing." He's still smiling, I tilt my head to one side, he comments on how worried I look. "Axes are for butchering."

"Butchering. Ah! So then they were butchered!" I exclaim.

Who am I talking about again? Who was butchered? Axe? Knife? Stab? Butch? Dead? Slaughtered? Teeth? Red? Carmine? Kagune? Devour? The boy's been talking I've not been listening.

"...Dizzy..." I say.

"You're dizzy? and people have been butchered?" He laughs, a strange boy this, is he crazy? Mad? Off his rocker? "What do you write all day?" I straighten quickly-no immediatley.

"What you mean to say is: what have you written throughout the day." My voice seemed different when I spoke this time.

Why did I say that? How did I say that? I corrected someone? I never correct anyone. How- he laughs again- he does that a lot. Is that normal I wonder?

"Okay then, what have you written thoughout the day?" He repeated what I said earlier! He let me correct him why? I don't understand. I feel something hovering over me now, its the boy, looking over my shoulder at my journal. "Huh? Huh? This is everything that just happened! You're even writting what i'm saying now?!" He's not upset but seems... I can't find the word.

"The Helper-Lady said to write everything."

"Why? I don't think she meant this obsessively!"

"My thoughts are..." I stop writing so I can flip back a few pages to remember the words. "A Rubix cube! I feel like a jumbled up mess of colors and thoughts that don't know where they belong! I hate it! It makes me dizzy!" I repeat my written words then point to my head while writing, "it's all messy in here! I can't stand it! I can't talk-no-conversate with anyone because of it!" The boy laughs again.

"I know how you feel, I get that way sometimes. But you're clearly a reck from it!" He giggles, was that a joke? I can't tell. It kind of hurt my feelings. "I wouldn't say you can't 'conversate' with anyone, you're talking with me arent you?" I pause.

"...I... I guess I am!" Happy! No... Thats part of it but it's something different...

"Excitment?" He offers, still looking over my shoulder.

Excitement. Yes! Excitment Indeed.

The boy's name is Suzuya! Rei Suzuya! He helps me- assists me- in finding the right, proper, correct- a hand stops my own from writing.

"Sachi-chan you're doing it again." Rei says.

-Assists me in finding the... Words I forget, and stops me from rambling, going on, no punctuations, run-on sentence-

"Sachi-chan!"

I do it a lot... Often, frequently- he took my pencil away from me just then because I've been rambling all day and he's getting annoyed.

"Don't forget you're supposed to write about your state of mind, last time the Counselor said your wrote too much about other stuff."

"But she said so! She said to me exactly: Sachi-chan you must write everything you can in this journal, don't forget. It will help to expand your mind, organize your thoughts, emotions and to become more social. Thats exactly what she said!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know you told me that already!" He grins happily, "i'm gonna get pudding." He leaves.

I've been hanging around with Suzuya for a whole- no- I mean an entire week and my minds much more clear than before! The Helper-Lady said: 'It's because Suzuya-kun is a non-stop, quick draw, chatter box that your mind is clearing, he's challenging your brain to heal itself!' She was excited-exstatic rather.

She also told me that the reason my mind is in such a state is because I have an idenic memory, which means I can remember everything I've ever seen with perfect detail, well I should be able to, I can't now. She said the tragedy I experianced, whatever it was, was too painful for my brain to keep and so I've repressed it. Because of the repressed tragedy my perfect memory went in to chaos because it didn't know how to react to not remembering something.

Long story short, I'm getting better and it's all thanks to-

"I'm back!" Rei plops down next to me on the silly feeling grass, "have you rambled since I left?" He looks to my paper, "hmm, only a little I guess. You should finish that sentence where you were going to say 'its all thanks to Rei'!"

"No! You interrupted me! It didn't happen like that! I'm leaving it! You didn't get me pudding?!"

"You didn't ask me to~"

"I'll remember this Suzuya-kun!"

"If you're lucky!"

"Lucky?"

"Umm... If you have good fortune and stuff, ya know? Lucky."

"Oh... I thought it was a dogs name..."

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes."

"Suzuya-kun! What do you mean?"

"Yes."

"Suzuya-kun I can't make sense of-I-I- don't know what-"

"Yep!"

"Yep?! I didn't ask a question! What do you mean?! What do you want?!" He laughs.

"Whenever I say 'yes' to something thats not a yes or no question you freak out, you're like a malfunctioning computer! It's funny!"

"Suzuya-kun! Don't do that to me! It makes me dizzy!"

"Everything makes you dizzy!"

"No! Only you make me-" He shoves a spoon full of chocolate pudding into my open mouth.

"Shut up and write~"

This boy, this boy sitting here, the one whose sitting right here next to me, stuffing his goofy-face with pudding is mean sometimes. But he's nice other times.

I feel a pressure on my shoulder, it's Rei Suzuya, leaning his head on my shoulder he's been doing this a lot lately, everyday I think, but only when we're outside in the silly feeling grass.

He will use me as a pillow until the sun goes- I mean until sunset, and I'll let him sleep here until the Helper-Lady comes to shoo us back to our rooms-dorms?

Suzuya Rei, a strange, silly, goofy, mean, nice, violent, harmless, docile, fool of a boy, is helping rebuild my mind, and is becoming more and more important to me as we stay side-by-side.


	2. Chapter 2

Falling Constilations

I am Sachi Yomoko, fourteen years old, I am Sachi Yomoko fourteen years old, I am Sachi Yomoko, fourteen years old, I am Sachi Yomoko, fourteen years old.

This is what I do when I have nothing to do or when I need to calm myself. The Helper-Lady took my jounal-took my journal! She say's I've moved passed that... what did she call it? Training wheels! She say's I've moved passed the time for training wheels and my brain needs to learn to remember things without aid. But thats hard-maybe I should say difficult instead, 'strong vocabulary makes a strong mind', someone said that to me once... I can't remember who though.

I've improved a lot, I guess. I don't feel dizzy so much anymore so thats nice, but not writing is too difficult so I made up a mental journal which i'm constantly writing in, only because i'm not sure-uncertain of if you would prefer- what else to do. So I sit on my bed alone writing, writing, thinking, thinking.

I notice something on my desk, red, crimson, rosey, carmine. I lean forward and take it into my hand, twine, rolled up in a large ball. I've shown promise in the arts, at least thats what the Helper-Lady says, since I havent shown any signs of self-harm since I arrive here at the... The... School... oh-Academy is what I mean! Since I arrived here at the Academy, she's had me take up sewing.

A loud noise-a slam actually- echoes throughout my tiny room, Rei comes galloping in with a smile on his goofy face. He's holding something, a journal? Not a journal too big to be a journal. It's thickly layered note-pad he's holding.

"Sachi-chan~" He sings, "I have an important question for you!" I open my mouth to respond but Rei interupts me. "Whats your favorite color?"

"Carmine." I say immediatly.

"Huh?"

"... I meant red."

"Oh-ho! Sachi-chan is a seamstress?" He drops himself onto the bed while pointing at the twine in my hand.

"Seamstress?"

"You sew I mean."

"The Helper-Lady-"

"You mean the Counselor."

"-Told me i'm good at it, but complains because I use too much red."

"Oh? Sew something for me!"

Something in my head just snapped, causing me to jolt, my eyes to go wide, and my body to stiffen. My mind is screaming at me, its screaming with lots of- multiple is the better word- voices, they all sound exactly the same but none are mine. They talk too loud, too fast. Sew something. Sew something in carmine. Sew something. Stitch something. Stitch it together. Stitch someone. Stitch Rei.

"Sachi-chan!"

I'm looking down on Suzuya. 'Looking down on'? He's taller than I am. Why am I? I'm on top of him-pinning him on the floor, there is a mess all around-or surrounding- us. Things are broken, things are smashed, I see carmine. Rei is breathing heavily-panting actually- his arm is trembling. Carmine twine is lacing one side of his arm, and I've got the threaded needle in my hand. I blink once before I release the needle and remove myself from Suzuya, who stays put-or should I say remains motionless?

As i'm looking at him all I can see is the stitching, it's uneven and sortly jagged, some blood is running down the arm it's embedded in. Sew something. Not someone.

"I-I don't... Understand..." I say, Rei sits up right.

"That stung, Sachi-chan." He says, his head down, face covered by white locks, he's looking at-no he's inspecting his arm. "But it didn't feel anything like how Mama used to treat me."

"I can't comprehend... How? What? When?"

"You owe me one ya know?" Rei looks to me with something scary about him, his eyes... are... whats the word? Mischevious? No... Malecious! His carmine eyes are malecious, nearly primal.

"I don't know..." I'm still trying to process everything around me. Did I stitch Suzuya? I don't remember- don't recall- but thats not unusual for me is it? A hand clamps over my mouth, throws me to the ground, it's Rei.

"Let me return the favor." There's harsh stinging in my throat, my eyes water, my body stiffens, I grip Suzuya's wrist tightly. "Now it's your turn Sachi-chan~"

Mad, crazy, off his rocker, this boy isn't Rei anymore. This is the other boy, the one whose mean, the one who bites me and steals my snacks, the one who used to fight for his Mama. Rei is gone, Juuzou has come out-resurfaced I should say.

There are stitiches zig-zagging up my neck, they hurt, the skin around them is pink-irritated and tender. I want to take them out. They hurt too much.

"Eh? You don't like my stitching?" Juuzou questions, still holding the needle and thread. He released me as soon as he finished what I started, and is currently allowing me to inspect myself in the mirror.

"It's ugly. You don't know how to do it right-properly I should say."

"Yours is ugly too!" His grin is scary.

"I don't remember doing that!"

"Yes!" My brain tingles somewhat.

"Go away Juuzou!"

"Yes!"

"Stop it! I don't know what you're supposed-"

"Yes indeedy-do!" I let out a sharp cry of irritation.

"Go away! I want Rei back!" Juuzou laughs aloud.

"I am Rei! Silly Sachi-chan's got herself thinking I've got multiple personalities! When she's the one whose got it!"

"You're not Rei, you're too mean-hateful-cruel-EVIL!"

"You just named part of my personality! Why not talk to Achlys? Thats what your other personality calls herself by the way."

I am Sachi Yomoko, fourteen years old, I am Sachi Yomoko fourteen years old, I am Sachi Yomoko, fourteen years old, I am Sachi Yomoko, I am Sachi Yomoko, I am Sachi Yomoko.

"Achlys is really different than you, ya know? She's stronger! I would've liked to have fought with her had I been given the chance when I was with Mama!"

I am Sachi Yomoko, I am Sachi Yomoko , I am Sachi Yomoko, I am Sachi Yomoko, I am Sachi Yomoko. Not Achlys.

"She's insane but her minds not all over the place like yours is! She actually remembers what happened when-"

I let out a scream, there are other people shouting, and running, Juuzou is laughing.

We got in big trouble that day, my sessions with the Helper-Lady have been increased I told her everything that happened was her fault for taking my journal, she scolded me... Rei-or should I call him Juuzou? Was punished more severly, confined to his room, increased psychiatric attention, no pudding.

I blamed everything on the Helper-Lady, but I know that it's really my fault, I don't remember it but I'm sure-no- I know that I attacked Rei. Three days have passed since the incident, it's night time now, and i'm laying in bed, my room would be totally-completely dark if it weren't for that stupid thing in the sky... The big round thing... What was it again? Oh... Right... It's the moon.

There are no stars in the sky, reminds me of a dream I just had. The world was coming to an end, I could only tell when the very final day was coming by the stars, every night enitre constilations would fall from the sky, which resembled golden fireworks plumetting to earth, the last constilation fell the world went dark and everyone died. It was beautiful.

"Sachi-chan." Rei enters my room carefully, I sit up and smile to him. Rei sits close to me and gently touches his cold fingers to my still tender-no- sensitive neck, the stitches have long since been removed. "It was fun wasn't it?"

"No. I don't like that Juuzou." Rei sighs.

"Juuzou's my scrapper name dumby, we've been over this. Juuzou is part of my singular personality."

"I don't care, I don't like it."

"You're such a hypocrite."

"Hypocrite?" Rei ignores me this time.

"I want you to do it again. I want you to stitch me again." He says with determination.

"No! No no no no-"

"It doesn't hurt me like it does you, Sachi-chan. I want you to stitch me again."

"Why? Why why why-"

"-Because it was ugly before! The Counselor said you were good at it I want to see what you can do, not what Achlys can." He thrusts his hand, holding the needle and twine, toward me. I look at him for a long while, then to the carmine thread, I take the needle and get to work.

There's red spiraling up Rei's pale arm only ending at the tip of his middle finger, it's pretty. As he inspects my work with amazement I lock-no I fixate my eyes on his throat.

"It's so cool!" He exclaims happily, I move toward him and he snaps his head to me. "Sachi-chan? Are you still you?" I move until i'm sitting on his lap.

"Lift your chin, Suzuya-kun." He doesn't need to be told twice. I leave a matching pattern on his neck, he's overjoyed as he inspects himself in the mirror. A stange boy this...

I'm just now realizing that I feel weird, have felt weird is more accurate. My head doesn't feel so messy, I feel more clear of mind than i'm used to. It scares me, I like it but I don't like it. Something strokes my hair, it's Rei, he towers over me when i'm seated, though in my minds new found clarity I realize how tiny the boy really is. He takes a seat next to me on the matress.

"You're different right now Sachi-chan, you're not Achlys I know that much. Are you still upset?" He takes my hand into his newly stitched one, intertwining our fingers.

"Not at all, not even a bit. But I do feel quite strange at the moment, at this very moment right here and now my mind is... transparent."

Rei places his free hand on my knee, he's always the one who starts this, he's alway's the one who yerns for it the most.

"Oh? Does it make you feel bad?" I only shake my head, as I look on him with a dizzy-ing feeling coming on.

"Yes-but no."

"I'll make you feel better!" He exclaims happily.

He's quick to brush his lips against mine, but slow in the act of initiating the kiss fully. Gentle, sweet, passionate, is how I describe the kiss, it's also how I describe Rei Suzuya whose kisses are so much better than the rough, icey, lustful, kisses Juuzou Suzuya forces. He say's Juuzou is a part of his only personality, but I'll never be able to connect the two to a single individual.

Rei and I are friends, nothing more than that... At least thats what he say's and he's usually right about these things, he say's that kissing is just a bonus. Do all friends do this I wonder? I can't recall having any sort of relationship with anyone other than Rei... My clear mind is fogging again, I can feel it as Rei traps me between his arms all the while continuing the kiss. My bottom lip stings now, Rei bit me-no- Juuzou bit me, that side of him is coming out again, but there's really nothing I can do about it now. My mind continues to fog as the kiss turns painful and cold. Something in my head snaps like before, we're a constilation falling out of the sky, and everything goes black.


	3. Chapter 3

Psychotic Innocence

When I woke up... Did I wake up? I'm sure, I can't actually remember waking up, night time in my room one second the next it's afternoon and i'm in the refectory.

"You're out of it every time you know!" Rei chimes, "when I go to your room to play, Achlys comes out for whatever reason and you're spacey the next day why is that I wonder?"

"Should I ask the Helper-Lady?"

"Nope, don't you remember? We'd get in trouble if anyone found out about our play dates at night time!"

"Why? Why should we- I-I mean to say why would we get in trouble for playing?"

"Because! I'm breaking curfew and you're not supposed to have anyone in your room after curfew!" He laughs, "you're still so silly!"

I'm not sure why he looks at me the way he does. He's confusing, i'm confusing, people are confusing, I hate people, do I hate Rei? No, no I hate Juuzou...

I'm in my room now... How did I get here? When did I get here?

"Hey!" A powerful voice says, I look around but there's no one in my room. "Over here you imbecile!"

The mirror. There's someone in the mirror, they look like me-exactly like me I should say- but they're not me.

"Who are you?" I approach the mirror, she stays perfectly still with a smug grin on her face.

"I go by Achlys now. Who are you?"

"I am Sachi Yomoko, fourteen years old."

"I know that already."

"Why'd you ask me then?"

She doesn't respond. I don't understand whats happening. The mirror, should show a reflection right? It should show me right? So who is this? Why is she here? She smirks to me.

"You really wanna know all that? Well let me ask you a question first. Who is Sachi Yomoko?"

Somethings breaking.

"I-I-I am... I think... I'm pretty sure..."

"You, Sachi Yomoko, aren't real ya know." Not real? That can't be right! I'm here so- "my name is Achlys and I was here before you!" She's getting angry. "I was here when it happened! Then you show up and take over! You even took my name you worthless idiot! I am Sachi Yomoko! You are nobody! Nobody wants you here! Imposter!"

"Th-that isn't true! Suzuya-kun wants me here I think... He says we're friends." She scoffs.

"I got news for you. Rei only wants you because you're stupid and easy to take advantage of! If I didn't show up whenever he comes over for a 'play date' he would've had his way with you long ago!" Rei? Rei wouldn't do something like that, or would he?

"Tha-thats not true! Suzuya-kun is good, he would never do something like that!"

"You're so stupid! You don't even recall the most important lesson I ever learned! All men, no matter who they are, only want women for one thing. You should know this from what happened! You may not be me but we share a brain at the moment, why in the world don't you know this?"

"...What happened?" She laughs... Laughs... Laughs, and laughs.

"My Step-Dad happened!" And image of a smiling man flickers by. "He married Mom when I was two, he was the only father I ever knew. He was a ghoul, unbeknownst to my Mother and I. He slaughtered everyone, mom, brother, neighbors, friends, I woke up in his chop shop." I see dismembered body parts. "He was just as much a perverted, sadistic, pig as Rei! He raped and tortured me!" A man is hovering over me. "You see there's no way you're the original me! You would've remembered this! I have all the skills I had before you appeared! Now take a hike!" My mind is on fire.

"Not true! It's not true! Red light! Red light! RED LIGHT! NO SUCH THING! NO SUCH THING AS ACHLYS!"

"Why are you so stupid?! You're the fake! Hurry up and disappear already! I want to be free!"

"MUTE BUTTON! NO SPEAK! SHUT UP!"

"Why don't you quite lying to yourself and admit it? You're the only fake here. Just disappear so I can get back to living my life." She's calmer now.

"NOT LYING! NOT FAKE! I'M REAL! YOU'RE FAKE! YOU GO AWA-NO- DISAPPEAR!" She knitts her brows together and frowns at me.

"There's no use in trying to speak to you with rationality, you're too stupid. Fine then! I'll destroy you myself! Looking at you makes me sick anyway you worthless piece of flesh!" She moves her hand-extends it toward me is what I mean- the mirrors surface moves- ripples- as her hand comes through its reflective surface.

"NO!" I take something-my alarm clock- into my hand and throw it at the lady, the mirror shatters, shes gone.

The door opens and Rei pops into the room, wearing a smile, his eyes widen at the sight of the broken glass. I hurry over to him.

"Achlys! Achlys! Achlys! Achlys!" Rei looks down on me in confusion, but pats my head and pulls me close anyway.

"It's okay, Sachi-chan."

'If I didn't show up whenever he comes over for a 'play date' he would've had his way with you long ago!'

I shove Rei away from me as her words echo through my mind again. Something is breaking inside me and I don't know... I can't identify what it is...

"NOT TRUE! FALSE! LIE!"

"Whats wrong with you huh? What happened?" He's becoming curious.

"Achlys! Achlys! Achlys in the mirror!"

"In the mirror?"

"Achlys in the mirror! I'm fake, she's fake! Disappear! Worthless! Stupid! Slaughtered! Ghoul! Rape! Lesson! Flesh! Rei! Don't trust Rei!" I'm screaming, I don't have control over myself... My mind is calm, my body is insane.

"Calm down Sachi-chan, you can trust me."

"No! No! No! Achlys said not to-but then she told me that I wasn't real-lie? Truth? Who am I?!" I'm quick to crouch down, my back resting against my bed. Rei giggles.

"The does sound like Achlys! She doesn't like me much, doesn't trust me at all! Whenever she shows up our play dates aren't fun anymore." He takes a seat next to me. "Don't listen to Achlys. Don't you remember what the Counselor told you?" I shake my head, "well it's a good thing I went with you last time then. She said something like... Because of the tragedy you made a second personality to cope, and you're working to get rid of it. Point is you're the real you, you wouldn't have so much control otherwise."

"...Medicine?" I question, Rei grunts.

"Man it's like you blocked out every Counseling session this week!" He rubs the back of his head, "Counselor says there is no medication for this, this was caused by trauma or something. The only way to better yourself is for you to stop being so weak and come to terms with what happend."

"Angry."

"Hm?"

I stand and leave Rei sitting in my room, I don't know where i'm going or what i'm going to do. Everythings mixing together, blood, dismemberment, the Academy, Dad, Mom, sunset near the river, pain, screaching, it all plays over and over in my mind until its just screaching and blood... I blink once. Twice. Sunset, near the river... I look down, blood all over me, beside me remenants of what I'm guessing was a dog, I can't really tell anymore. There's a steal pipe in my hand. What did I do?

"Sachi-chan! What happened?" I'm in my room again, Rei's still there, the broken glass is gone. Suzuya comes over to me-approaches would be the better word- he put a cold hand to my face. "Why are you covered in blood?" I'm silent, my mind is screaming with a million different answers and questions, Rei sighs. "Don't tell me you did it again? Come on lets get you cleaned up." He takes my hand and pulls me along with him.

Warm water is raining down on me, i'm in a shower now. My minds been skipping past events in my life, Achlys's fault all her fault. I see carmine puddling around my feet and watch as it swirles down the drain.

"You killed another one you know." Achlys has to but in.

"I know."

"You know thats the eighth animal you've killed this week?" I'm too tired to get upset and too empty to feel anything but numb.

"I don't remember anything but the dog."

"You know Rei's getting the blame for all of it right?" I felt myself stiffen.

"What do you mean?" Achlys chuckles.

"I mean of the two of you Rei is far more open with his destructive behavior, you're just the quiet, harmless, crazy girl who doesn't speak to anyone. Rei's obviously the one killing the animals, well in the Academy's eyes at least."

"Thats wrong. I should tell them."

"And get yourself in trouble? Rei is far more deserving of punishment than you... Hm, actually I'll say 'us' this time. He deserves it for trying to take advantage of us."

"Sachi-chan?" Rei's just on the other side of the shower wall, no where in my sight. "Are you talking to Achlys?"

"Suzuya-kun... Question."

"Shoot."

"Achlys says you're trying to take advantage of us at night. Is it true?"

"Us? That doesn't seem like a good sign Sachi-chan." He sounds concerned.

"Answer."

"You mean the play dates? I'll be honest i'm not exactly sure what you mean by 'take advantage of'."

"Don't play dumb you idiotic boy! You know exactly what she means!" That voice wasn't my own, i'm quick to clamp my hand over my mouth.

"Ah~ hello again Achlys! I'm being completely honest when I say I haven't the slightest idea what you mean." He sounds genuine, serious, its strange. "All we do is play!"

"Lies! You alway's want to kiss!" Achlys shouts.

"Only because its fun and makes us both feel better, besides Sachi-chan always tastes like chocolate."

"You see I told you Rei-kun wouldn't do such a thing." I say softly.

"He's obviously a liar! You can't trust his word! He was raised by ghouls!" Achlys words sound more like growls.

"So were we!"

"Not we just me! You can't trust men! Don't be stupid!"

"But you said we-"

"I know what I said! But it was me! Just me! Not you! Disappear!"

"No you-"

A hand touches my shoulder, I turn to see Rei's hand laced in carmine thread on my wet skin, he's just outside the shower curtain, but he's going out of his way to keep his back to me.

"I'm glad you don't think of me like Achlys does, Sachi-chan." Not a pervert, not a pig, not a monster, if Rei's intentions were what Achlys had said they were, he wouldn't be so adamant about keeping his eyes off me-averted might be the better phrase.

"Why do you stick with me? All I do is get you into trouble." My voice is quieter than I'd like it to be.

"Because when I see you in such a reck it makes me feel better about myself~"

"Mean."

"It's true though," he retracts his hand, and moves farther away from the showers entrance. "I'm all messed up too, but not as badly as Sachi-chan. You help me, and I help you."

"Friendship."

"Yeah."

Achlys is quiet for the rest of the night. Even when Rei and I go to my room for a play date. I have board games under my bed, I don't remember those being there, Rei says we play them a lot and since I can never remember the rules he alway's wins.

A kiss, his mean side, which I still call Juuzou, comes out in him again. It hurts, the way he leaves scratches on my arms and neck, the way his lips have too much pressure on my own. Achlys wants to come out, i'm trying to hold her off, I have to know if anything else happens at night, maybe I'll remember it and Achlys will back off. My minds funny again, it feels as though Achlys and I are being mixed together.

Rei is like me, I am like Rei. We were both mistreated terribly by ghouls, by family, we're both angry and so thats why we take our anger out on each other. We're the only ones who understand. Biting, scratching, hitting, it's all the same, it doesn't bother me because while I'll have bruises and scratch marks tomorrow at the moment it makes the both of us feel better.

The physical abuse we deliver to one another is our hate, frustration and confusion for things we can't comprehend, the kiss is our friendship, painful as it maybe it's solid, laced with good intent, and sweetness along with the slightest hint of being more than ourselves.

I'm realizing now as my finger nails dig into Rei's arms, that Achlys and I are becoming one person, a singular entity, sadly I believe that these moments with Rei will be the only time I feel like this, he pushes me back causing my head to slam against the wall and I see stars for a second, if thats the case I never want this to end.


	4. Chapter 4

Grief

There's a man here, a very large man, a very large man speaking-no lecturing- my class. He's an investigator. Don't trust him. Ghoul. He is a ghoul, how do I know that? Achlys, she says the look in his eyes is the same as my step-dad's-ours-hers, she say's ghouls eyes give them away when the kakugan is inactive as well. They look at people differently.

"Cattle, sheep." I whisper, Rei looks to me curiously. "Lambs for the slaughter, that's a ghoul." I point to the man, Rei follows my finger and looks to the man with disinterest before turning his attention back to the nearby window.

"Yeah I know, so what?" As the investigator speaks I can see his eyes are trained-fixated-focused on a certain girl, I just can't tell which one. Whoever it is he's looking at, she's going to be his next meal.

"Not important." I mumble, Rei nods in agreement.

The lecture ends, Rei and I begin to leave, one girl stays behind speaking excitedly to the monster investigator. I stop and watch the two blankly. Doesn't she know? How can she not know that man is unsafe? I knew, Achlys knew, Rei knew, why doesn't she?

"What's the matter now?" Rei is aggravated, he hates lectures, he hates ghouls, being lectured by a ghoul must have made this the worst class ever for him.

"I was just thinking... That girl with the ghoul."

"You mean Shizuku, she goes out of her way to speak to you sometimes, you can at least remember her." A faint giggle escapes him. I don't recall every speaking to this girl.

"Yeah okay. I was just thinking, if she doesn't know that man's a ghoul then she must be dumb." Rei cranes his neck to get a better look at my face.

"You become more and more like Achlys everyday you know, the old Sachi-chan wouldn't say something like that so casually... For that matter Sachi-chan is never casual."

"Mean."

"Yeah, yeah, c'mon lets go get pudding." Rei takes my wrist in his hand and begins to pull me, my eyes never leave the the ghoul, who, has just begun to lead the girl out the exit door on the lecturing floor. I pull out of Rei's grasp, he stops and looks back to me.

"I wanna see."

"See what? That ghoul have dinner?"

"Yeah."

"Okay seriously, you're kinda freaking me out Sachi-chan!"

I'm outside now, how did I get out here? It's evening time, near dark actually, the Academy is nowhere in sight. What was I supposed to be doing? Why am I here? Why am I holding a rusted broken pipe?

Laughter, lots and lots of laughter screaming along with it and its just around the corner. In an isolated alley way is a familiar looking girl, and ghoul which is about to take a bite out of her. More screaming, but this time it comes from me. I'm suddenly upon the ghoul before I know what i'm doing, I swing the pipe and hit the ghouls head, he falls to the ground. This ghoul is so weak. I'm standing over top of him, hitting him over and over and over and over and over and over and... There's blood everywhere, what lays beneath me now is a mess of carmine pulp, I'm not sure if the ghoul's still alive or not I didn't have a quinque after all...

"I-I can't believe- h-h-how did you?" I turn there's the familiar girl, she sitting on the ground blood covering her clothes and face. Why does she look at me like that? Why is there so much carmine? She's still staring at me, i'm not sure what to do so I do what Rei told me to when someone talks to me, I smile.

"Good evening, my names Sachi Yomoko, fifteen years old." I reach-no extend my hand to her, she flinches. "It's a pleasure to meet you." She looks confused, scared, relieved, she trembles for a moment before wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me into a hug. She's crying. I'm not sure what to do, I've never been this close to anyone other than Rei...

A groan comes from behind, I turn, the girl releasing me as I move, a bloody mess of a ghoul is trying to crawl toward us. I take the pipe in both hands, ready to defend myself.

"I'll get help!" The girl cries and she turns away.

It's fast, the ghoul is so fast. He came at me, I ducked out of the way. Screaming . Over my shoulder I see flailing-stuggling is better- where's the girl from before? Something cracks. Oh, she's there, on the ground underneath the... ghoul. Flashes, they're too fast, they hurt. I'm scared, i'm in pain, i've been decieved, i've been betrayed... I hate.

I hate Dad... He's touching me. I hates Achlys... She's calling me names. I hate myself... I'm standing over him. I hate humanity... A classmate pushes me. I hate ghouls... The man turns to me. I hate ghouls.. He lunges. I hate ghouls. He falls. I hate ghouls, the pipe goes down. I hate ghouls, something just squished, I hate ghouls I hate ghouls I hate ghouls I HATE GHOULS I HATE GHOULS I HATE GHOULS!

My muscles ache, the ghoul is not moving anymore, I raise the pipe above my head again something stops me from bringing it down. I look over my shoulder, expecting-hoping is more accurate- to see Rei, it's not him.

"Thats enough Sachi Yomoko-chan." It's a tall man with short black hair, a chuckle from behind, another man this one smaller and older.

"Well you did quite the number on this ghoul didn't you, Sweetie?"

"Not before it got it's meal." The younger says. The familiar girl's laying her stomach, chunks of skin are missing, bone is showing, is that what a spine looks like?

I'm walking down a path, i'm walking between two men, ones young and handsome, the other elderly and strange... He reminds me of Rei.

"Who are you?" I question.

"We already told you, i'm Investigator Amon, this is my superior, Investigator Mado." The younger one answers, I lower my eyes.

"Why's there blood?" The old man laughs.

"My, my, it would appear that you are indeed mentally unstable. I like it!" I stop in my tracks.

"Rei-kun..." The men turn back to me curiously.

"Hm? Whats that, Honey?" Mado questions.

"I want Rei-kun." Amon sighs.

"Whoever this 'Rei-kun' is you can see him when we get back to-"

"NO! REI-KUN! REI-KUN NOW!" I shout, "DON'T KNOW YOU! DON'T TRUST YOU!"

"Ah, thats the problem then." Mado mumbles, "Amon she's uncomfortable with us being here, she doesn't know us after all. Tell you what, Sweetie, Amon will go and get your 'Rei-kun' and we'll wait here for them."

I feel five, not fifteen. I'm sitting-pouting if i'm being truthful- next to an old man whose looking at me funny, I blink in confusion.

"My, my aren't we in a sour mood." He comments.

"Rei-kun."

"Yes, yes, Dear, Amon should be returning shortly with this 'Rei-kun' you speak of." He turns to me with a smile, "now why don't you tell me about that ghoul you just beat to a pulp?" I look to him my eyebrows raised.

"Ghoul?"

"The man in the alley way, the one who gave a lecture to your class this evening." His face flashes by. "The one who killed your classmate, Shizuku Kawakami." Who? There's a familiar girl with a ghoul. Dead. Torture, mom... Dad. Anger.

"I would like to know why you followed him."

"It's none of your business." It's not my voice, "I followed him because I wanted to keep your nose out of it you Idiotic Wretch!" But it's coming from my mouth.

"Oh dear, your attitude has taken quite the turn."

"Shove it up your ass!" Achlys. I can see, and hear everything but only from the inside I have no control. She stands. "That damn Sachi, taking my kill away from me! I told that Idiot to let me do it, i'm the one who deserves to kill ghouls not her!"

"Ah, yes your record did say something about multiple personalities. I'm asuming your the second one." She grabs him by the collar of his shirt, and pulls him off the ground.

"I'm the original you rat bastard! I'm the one who remembers everything, i'm the smart one, the only one with any skill! I'm the original! The strongest!"

"But if that were true wouldn't you have been the one to take charge in beating that ghoul?" Achlys stops.

"I'm here now, how 'bout I make up for missing out. I'll kill you instead!" He chuckles.

"That's funny! But if you don't know that I would kill you before you could even blink then you must be stupid, Sweetheart." Achlys isn't happy, but the old man must be telling the truth because Achlys gives me control again.

I blink once, twice, the old man is grinning at me, I move away from him, he stumbles before he regains balance. There's something not right about him and I mean that in a bad way, not like Rei. Instinct says: run. So I run.

That man is a monster I know it. He's got no fear, no empathy, he reminds me of Dad. GhouL? No his eyes, human. He's a human monster. He's not chasing me, glad.

I don't know where I am anymore, lost, alone, nothing new. It's dark the stars are out again, will the constilations fall? Hide, got to hide. I'm in a pitch-black area just behind a small restaurant, sitting next to a dumpster, hugging my knees close to my chest. Where? Where? What to do? What to do? What to- Something creaks.

Someone's coming toward me I can see the... Whats the word? Beam, I can see the beam of light coming from their flashlight. Ghoul? Human? They throw something into the dumpster. Stay hidden, don't move. I lean forward onto my knees and peak around the edge of the dumpster. Old man, not the monster man but a different one. He turns to me clamly, I'm quick to hide behind the dumpster again.

"What's the matter? Why are you hiding here?" He asks, I cover my ears if I don't hear him he won't hear me, if I don't see him he won't see me. Invisible. A hand touches mine, he moves it from my head. "Are you injured?" Not invisible. I shake my head. "But there's blood all over you. Come inside, you can clean up and have a cup of coffee. We'll call your parents while your here."

"No!" My voice is louder than I meant it to be. "No parents! Dead! Dead! Dead! Ghoul! Ghoul! Ghoul! Go away!" He was about to say something when Rei bounced just behind him.

"Saaachiii-chaaaan~" he sang happily, "why're you hiding near a dumpster? It's dirty don't ya know?" I get to my feet and go to Rei.

"I-I-I-I-pipe-old man-girl-Achlys-monster."

"Eh? Calm down, lets go have some pudding!" He places his hands on my shoulders and steers me away from the dumpster. "Thank you for your concern Old Man!" Rei calls over his shoulder.

A shower, a change of clothes.

I'm in a little room at the Academy, sitting at an old table with wobbly legs. The monster old guy, Mado, say's that i'm being difficult. I can see a vein popping out Amon's forehead. The investigators have been asking me questions but since I don't like Mado I haven't even made a sound let alone answer them, Rei is asked to ask me the questions instead like that will make me answer them, these men are dumb, Rei refuses to cooperate.

"If Sachi-chan doesn't wanna answer you then she definitely wont answer me. She might be needy but she isn't stupid."

"Well then," Mado stands from his seat, "since you don't want to cooperate with us, there's no use in wasting our time here." Amon stands too, "oh but no worries, Honey, we havent said a word of you beating that ghoul beyond recognition, no no, that would cause too much trouble for you and your little friend. Consider it a parting gift." They leave.

Rei leads me back to me room, enters, closes the door, turns to me, and grins.

"Well? Did you enjoy it?" He questions.

"Enjoy what?" He giggles.

"Beating the hell out of that ghoul! I tried to stop you from following that guy but now i'm glad you got away!"

"But that girl-"

"Her names Shizuku come on-oh, well I guess you don't really need to remember her name now do you?"

"Shizuku-chan. Right. I don't know, I'm sure if I'm happy with it, what I did I mean. Shizuku-chan still died." Rei scoffs.

"Like she wasn't going to when she went with the ghoul! It doesn't matter any more, it's over and there's nothing to be done about it and besides, death isn't that big a deal some just go more painfully than other-" A sound, a loud sound rings out in my room, I slapped Rei right across the face I hit him so hard he fell to the floor.

"Don't ever say death isn't a big deal again." Rei looks up at me, knowing that what just happened was nothing like when it happens on our play dates, it's serious. I don't know why I'm suddenly so upset about it, Rei says things like that all the time. "Get out." Rei is all too complacent for my liking, as he's heading out the door he stops, looks over his shoulder, he's smiling.

"Don't tell me you're finally gonna start remembering Shizuku's name."

I'm alone in my room with a weird feeling in my chest, what is it? How do I get rid of it? It's a familliar feeling, but I'm not sure how I know it. My chest hurts, I don't know why, I don't understand it all I know is the feeling gets stronger when I think of Shizuku.


	5. Chapter 5

Memories End

A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to update this chapter, but it took me a while to completely understand Sachi's evolution and put it into words. Well anyway, this is it, this is the end. I hope you enjoy it.

A noise wakes me up but I don't bother opening my eyes, I know it's the door knob jiggling, locked, no play date tonight.

Funeral, it was small and short all that remains of it is a stone and the look of fresh dirt. I went to Shizuku's funeral because... Well... It was mandatory for the entire student body. I'm not racked with grief like last night, there's no point in it I didn't even know her name until she died afterall. The Jiggling has stopped now.

I hate ghouls so much, I hate all of them, the hunters, the beinge eaters, the scavangers, the adults, even the new borns. I hate them all killing them is no big deal it's not like they're actually people, not like they actually count. Thats how I feel... But at the same time... I know some of it's not true. I hate them yes, but I don't hate the savangers or the littles ones who, inspite of their speicies, are innocent from killing. If humans can love and care for their families... Ghouls can too... A memory of my Step-Dad reading me bed time stories, playing dolls with me, holding my hand, I know he was horrible... But... I also know he was a good father until he defiled me and threw my mind into chaos, whether he was sincere or not I'll never be sure... Ghouls can feel like humans can... I hate them, they're nothing... I hate them they're not all bad surely...

I roll onto my back keeping my eyes closed all the while, I sigh.

Kill the bad ones, I conclude. Kill the bad one's stay rational you know they're not all bad. Kill those who deserve to be killed and those who get in the way of that. Contradiction.

Pressure on my lips, Rei's hovering over me, he must have come in through the window. I punch him hard, hard enough that he tummbles off my bed. I sit up straight as Rei begins to giggle.

"No play date. Go away." He gives me a questioning look.

"Why not?"

"I'm still mad at you, for what you said about Shizuku-san."

"Eh?! That happened yesterday night! You still remember it? Is that why you haven't spoken to me all day?" He stands.

"Obviously."

"I don't know what you want from me, an apology or something?"

"...No."

"Good because I'm not gonna give you one."

"I know, just go okay." I lay with my back to him and pull the covers over my head. Rei was out of line when he spoke of Shizuku in such a way, truth is I don't really care much about it anymore but I figure a sane person would still be angry so I'll give it a shot. My shoulder is jerked roughly and i'm rolled on to my back looking up at Rei.

"I didn't come through your window at three in the morning to be rejected, Sachi-chan." He's not smiling anymore. He's scary right now. What do I do?

"Too bad, get the hell out your worthless maggot!" Achlys has taken my vocal cords.

"You ruin everything Achlys." Rei growls.

"What were you gonna do? Force yourself on Sachi? Not while I'm here though right? You always stop when I show up!" Rei doesn't say anything he just stares for a long moment before ultimately leaving out the window. I'm quick to jump to up and lock the window, I'm back under my covers in no time.

"I don't care what you say Achlys, Rei-kun isn't Dad." I say as she complains.

"How would you know? You weren't there to know what Dad was like! You've got no clue you fake! You know you're not real so why don't you-"

"I don't care Achlys, i'm not in the mood for your bullshit. Go to sleep." Achlys is quiet. She acts tough, but it's not hard to bully her into submission at least not anymore.

I'm afraid, something's got a hold of me and it's dragging me away from the warmth. It's cold and it's bright, I don't like it at all I start to cry and shriek at the top of my lungs, I want the warmth again. There's a giant man in a mask looking down on me craddling me, then i'm handed off to a lady in blue. Warm water is running over me but i'm still crying it's not warm enough, i'm wrapped up in a soft blanket and handed off to someone else again, i'm still crying, whatever this is I don't like it I want to go back to the warm place where it's safe, where I can hear the woman talking and singing just for me.

"Hush now, Sachi, you're okay." I stop crying and take a good look at the woman holding me, "that's it thats my girl no need to be upset."

Oh... It's you... Its the voice that always talks and sings, it's weird that I can see you now. She starts singing the song she always sings when it's time to sleep, I doze easily.

I wake up, i'm in my room at the Academy. I push myself up from the matress as the dream I just had registers fully except it wasn't a dream, it was a memory... I just rememebered the day I was born.

Rei is laying his head on my shoulder, his arms are also wrapped around my torso. He came running up to me, as soon as I set foot outside, whimpering and apologizing for being so inconsiderate the other day, he really didn't like it when I cancelled our play date.

"Rei-kun, you're being a baby." I say, I notice my tone is iceier than usual. Rei pushes me back, keeping his hands on my arms, to look me in the eyes.

"Nuh-uh! I apologized like you wanted right? So we can have play dates again right?"

"I told you that I didn't want you to apologize. I don't want play dates anymore..."

"Huh?! Why not?"

"Because I've been thinking about it all morning and something isn't right about it... I think it's wrong, or maybe immoral..."

"Since when do you care about that? Hey actually you're acting pretty weird now that you mention it." I put my hand over his and shake me head.

"Let's not worry about it, for now lets just get to class." I pull him along while keeping my hand closed over his gently.

Flashes all through out class. Sometimes i'm there sitting next to Rei, who hasn't taken his eyes off me since we sat down, and other times I'm playing with blocks, blowing out birthday candles, petting a kitten under a christmas tree, watching my Mom's wedding, going to school, taking a test, it's always different but it's never fast, the last memory lasted five minutes I timed myself... My head isn't dizzy or fuzzy I don't feel sick. I feel normal and not the kind of normal I've felt for the past year, but the kind I know I felt before my mind went to chaos.

When I'm pulled into the recesses of my memory it's like I'm sitting in darkness while watching a movie play out in front of me, Achlys is there too but she never speaks she only watches. Something is going to happen...

A hand is waving just before my face, I move away from it and look up to Rei whose standing really close to me, he looks concerned. The rest of the class has cleared out.

"You've been spacing out more than usual... Maybe you're getting worse because you saw Shizuku-chan get murdered." I shake my head as the girls face runs through my mind.

"No... Actually... I think i'm getting better. I've been remembering stuff, like all kinds of stuff from before. I don't feel confused anymore."

"Ah, but do you think you'll stay this way?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're mind went all goofy because you experianced something so traumatic that you blocked it out... If you're remembering things like you say you are, do you think you'll be able to take reliving that moment?"

Something big is going to happen, and it's going to happen at night time i'm not sure when it could be morning before it hits, but I know it's coming.

"I guess that would be the best option." I mumble to myself, Rei cocks his head to one side curiously. "Rei-kun, would you spend the night with me tonight?" His face brightens immediatly.

"You mean you're inviting me for a play date?!"

"I never said that, I'm inviting you for a sleep over."

"Same thing! Yaaaaay play date with Sachi-chan." He cheers.

"But you have to come over earlier than usual, like as soon as you know the gaurds are off curfew patrol." With a vigorous nod of his head Rei hurries to the exit, it's lunch time afterall.

We are at lunch, today I made Rei eat something other than pudding a memory caused me to do so, my mother always told me sweets wouldn't help me grow, Rei is eating a sandwhich and he's not happy about it, what a silly boy.

"Hello there Sachi Yomoko-chan."

It's the old man from yesterday, Special Investigator Mado, and his partner Investigator Amon. I don't like that old man, he's human but I can already tell that he acts more like the streotype humans have marked ghoul behavior as. Don't trust him.

"I don't like you," The investigators are taken aback, "I don't like you at all, please leave me alone." Rei leans toward me.

"... Sachi-chan? Is that you?"

"Of course it is, Achlys has been quiet all-"

I'm outside looking for the cat, Oddball, I haven't seen him since I came home from school. The backyard, on a tree I always play under is Oddball, dead covered in blood. The neighborhood boy's did it, they always bully me for getting such good grades. My Dad see's what's happened.

"We'll bury him, it's only right." He's been looking at me funny ever since he came outside, "it's strange that you're so calm, don't tell me you're not human?" He laughs.

The boys will pay.

"Sachi-chan! Hey come back to reality!" Rei is shaking me roughly, I push him away gently. "You zoned out in the middle of talking, are you sure your okay?"

"It was just a memory." I stand from the table while looking to the two investigators who are still standing by, "as for you two I've no interest in anything you have to say to me, goodbye." I leave.

The moons light is illuminating my room, Rei and I are laying under the covers talking innocently, flashes of memory come and go for me. This is why Rei is here, he's going to help me through the worst of my memories, which are becoming darker and darker as the night rolls on.

"Afraid, i'm afraid." Rei giggles.

"You sound like the old Sachi-chan now."

The smell of blood is so thick it makes me gag, there are corpses everywhere my mom and brother among them, don't look at them if you look you'll never be able to forget. My step-Dad, no he's not my family anymore, a ghoul is standing just before me his entire body coated in blood.

Rei looks concerened, I've yet to explain to him the severity of the this situation, and with how frequent the memories are coming I don't have the time to.

It's been four days, I've been keeping track by counting the seconds, I've become used to the metalic arouma of blood, as well as the stentch of the decomposing left over corpses, the discomfort of the shackles holding my arms above me head rubbing my skin away, I've also become used to the ghouls touch.

Rei is holding me close, I don't know why really, I don't know whats been happening outside of my memory flashes. The window, the sky, it's becoming morning isn't it?

Nine day's in and I'm still alive, I think of how astonishing it is considering the circumstance. The ghoul says he plans to keep me as a pet, believes I've had enough 'training' and that he will introduce me to me new home. There's a click and I fall to the floor, my wrists are red and they burn, I've been released from my shackles.

Someone is shaking me, it's not Rei, Achlys... She's shaking me and yelling at me, she's afraid of these memories and she's afraid of what will happen if I see them.

"Don't listen to her Sachi-chan." I must've been talking to myself because Rei encourages me to ignore Achlys.

The ghoul is busy at table overflowing with rusted, dirty tools which he's used on both the corpses as well as myself. Somethings in the corner, a rusted broken pipe. It's the only thing within my reach. The ghoul's back is still to me, I get to my feet quickly as my hand wraps around the rough rust of the pipe. I leap forward, thrusting the broken tip of the pipe through the ghouls neck, I dislodge it from the confines of his flesh, then when I notice he's equiping his kagune I stab through the back of his head several times.

"Sachi-chan, stop!" Rei cries and I freeze, my room is a mess, the door to my closet is unhinged, my desk is on the floor, Rei is behind me and holding my wrists. In my moment of being in the present I notice, the sky is orange.

The ghoul's on the floor but that doesn't mean I'll stop, I stab and beat it's body over and over and over and over, the ghoul's face changes everytime I bring the pipe down, so does the setting, from the chop shop, to alleyway, I catch another glimpse of what used to be my brother and his body fades into Shizuku's.

It's the same weapon, I was able to hide it from the investigators... I don't know why I kept it...

Investigators, fuzzy, straightjacket, fuzzy, writing, fuzzy, counselor, fuzzy, Rei... pudding, laughing, crying, suspicion, play dates, animals, board games, drawing, friendship.

The sky is bright, it must be mid-morning now. Rei is sitting next to me with an arm drapped over my shoulder. I'll stay quiet until he speaks.

"Hey," that didn't take long. "You okay?"

"Not sure... I haven't had enough time to know yet." I say, and I catch a smile on his lips.

"Ah~ I'm glad you're not the way you were when we first met!" At the mention our first exchange flashes through my head, but doesn't pull me out of relaity.

"Like I said, we have to give it time there's no garuntee... I might end up worse for ware."

"Nah, I don't think so." I tilt my head to one side.

"Why's that?"

"...You remember everything now right?" I look away from him.

"I do."

"What's Achlys gotta say about it?"

"Achlys is gone. I realize now that she wasn't even a seperate persona, my personality split itself in two, Achlys being the one whom commited the acts of violence..."

"So that part of you's gone forever?"

"M-mm, it's blended now, I'm not saying I am as I was before it all went down, but I'm a lot closer than I was before." Rei is silent for a long while.

"Will Sachi-chan stick around?" His question caused me to look to him in confusion, "the entire reason Rei-kun and Sachi-chan became friends was because her mind was all messed up, she needed him, now she's all better so-"

"Sachi-chan will always need Rei-kun one way or another, and Rei-kun will need Sachi-chan one day." Rei smiles at that, and stands to his feet.

"Let's skip class today!" Rei purposes, I stand too with a light laugh.

"Well it wouldn't hurt to skip considering last night. We can go get some ice cream or something." Rei cheers in excitment.

And thats how we are, that's our relationship. Rei and I stay close throughout our time in the Academy, unfortunately, when we graduate we are seperated and hardly get to see each other, and that's how it's been for a long time. But still even now, once and a while the once snowy haired Rei, whom is now sporting raven locks along with the name Juuzou, sneaks into my bedroom window for a play date, which I can never seem to turn down.

"Rei-kun you're so strange sneaking in through the window like that."

"Ah~ But Sachi-chan is even more strange for letting me~"

"Mean."

"You started it."

We giggle happily under the sheets as if we're in our own special place which no one else can enter, and we whisper as though we've got a secret that should never be herd by another ears. This is our relationship, our bond, our connection, our friendship, and we couldn't be more content.

Fin.


End file.
